What Is This REALLY For?

Yeah, I know... it's a bidet, but what are you supposed to do with it?  I ask people all over Europe, and they know what it is, but they've never used one, and they can't tell you how to use it or why to use it or why they keep putting them in the bathrooms in Europe.  So here's my take.  Long, long ago, in days of old when there were no showers they created the bidet so that people could wash their "parts".  Now we have showers AND bathtubs so I'm not quite sure why I need a bidet next to my shower/bathtub to wash my "parts".  If they really need to be washed that bad shouldn't I be taking a shower/bath?

Now for the sake of argument let's just walk through the process here and see where it goes.  I use the toilet, then I get up, straddle the bidet, turn it on and give my "parts" a good rinse.  First of all, to me it kind of looks like sitting on the toilet after Greg has left the seat up and haven't we women been trying to avoid that part of the toilet?  Secondly, if you look to the right of the bidet you see the little hook where the towel hangs.  So I use the bidet and then I grab the towel to dry off.  Now that towel is supposed to be for everyone using the bidet?  What if it's already wet which means someone has been there before me?  Kind of defeats the purpose of the whole rinse factor if I'm now using a wet towel that Greg probably used last.  My poor friend Debbie can't even use the hand towel in the bathroom if someone else has used it.  Just imagine what would happen if she was faced with a wet "bidet towel".  So once again I ask, "What is this REALLY for"?  I have come up with some uses I find worthy.

1.  Take it out of the bathroom and put it in the mud room.  I don't really care about my kids butt cleanliness, but I can't stand dirty feet.  Ask my sister, I would camp if it weren't for the whole dirty feet thing.  Hang a scrub brush and a towel on that hook and I'm in!
2.  Again, put it in the mud room.  I'm always having to clean the dogs paws on those rainy days (yes, I know I have a dirty foot/paw thing).  I could clean the dogs paws right by the back door before they ever got in to the house.

I welcome all suggestions, because I really don't see Greg waddling across the room with his underwear down at his ankles so that he can go rinse his "parts" on a toilet with the seat up, using a towel that after that rendezvous should probably be burned.