German Landlords

Right now Carrie is saying, "I told you so."  When we started to look for a place to rent here Carrie told me numerous times that you don't want a place where the landlord lives near by.  Well when we got here there was only one place left and the landlord lives across the street.  How bad could it be right?  BAD....REALLY BAD!

I should of had a clue when we arrived from the airport that first day, set our bags down and someone knocked on the door.  Of course it was her welcoming us to our new home and asking to set up the 1-2 hour walk through and "training" of the house.  I need "training" for the house?  Okay, yes, when we moved to PA I had to call Linda several times to ask how a septic worked and what was a heat pump, but eventually I got it all down without blowing anything up or burning anything down.  So being the loving wife that I am I set Greg up for the one hour "training" of the house where he was shown everything from how to work the dishwasher to how the heat system works and I do mean HOW IT WORKS.   The water starts here in the water heater, goes through these pipes, comes to the floor, heats the floor and it controlled by this thermostat.  Since then I've been given the following lessons from the dear landlord.

1.  You can't store the mop in that closet because there isn't good ventilation

2.  I already told you about how we have to open the window, because the hood above the oven may suck all the oxygen out of the house.

3.  In the lease she put that we need to wipe down the shower doors EVERY day.  Put Greg in charge of that one and you know how often he's home and how much housework he does.

4.  We were leaving for vacation and she told us that she has to come in the house every day and open the windows on every floor for 15 minutes to let the moisture out of the house because it is a new house and we said we would air it out regularly.  (WHACKO!!!)

5.  A gate is not a fence.  She's responsible for putting a fence around the yard so she put three sides on but not the gate part the closes it all off, because a gate is not a fence.

6.  I need to move my bikes out of the garage so that we can put the blue recylcing trash can in there because the trash can is ugly and shouldn't sit outside.  Got right on that one.

7.  I also needed to move some stuff out of the garage because she made it extra long so that she could put the gardening tools (wheel barrel, hoses, shovel, etc.) in the garage.  I explained to her that Greg has "people" who bring their own gardening tools so we won't be needing those and she was welcome to take them to her house.

8.  When I hang the curtains there is no need for me to use three holders for the rod, I really only need 2 and if I'll come over to her house she'll show me how to hang curtains.

9.  I can't lean anything against the house because it may cave it in.

10.  I forgot to put my BBQ cover back on the grill.

11.  My all time favorite is when she was in the house to fix something in Brittany's room and decided to wander in to the basement and the dog pooped right in front of her.  I guess that was the dog trying to tell her something.  In return she sent me this picture.

She sent me an email and asked "How can this be avoided?"  I guess she shouldn't wander around the house when she's not supposed to.

So we had a big meeting with her and our relocation agent to discuss the fact that she needed to give us some privacy and stop coming in the house.  She agreed and the next day Greg found her in the garage.