Letter to My Neighbors

We just recieved a letter from our neighbor last night stating that they were having a birthday party for their daughter in their backyard and apologizing if they made to much noise.  I felt that I should follow their example and write my own letter.

Dear Germany,
We are the Swaffords.  We are here for the next two years.  We understand that you speak German here and with the exception of my husband, we are trying our best to learn it as fast as possible.  My husband does speak the international language of profanity so if he cannot understand you and you start yelling at him he will fall back on his international language and he has found that he is able to get his point across.

We come from the land of "the more the merrier"!  Now, you can stand on the other side of our fence and stare at us and refuse to smile or feel free to come on in and join the party.  Everyone is always welcome.  The best way that we have found to deal with all you grumpy people is to surround ourselves with fun people so therefore if we are home you can guarantee that there is going to be lots of people over here, way to much wine flowing and lots of great food.  We are sorry if the music gets too loud.  We have found that you love American music too and there's no better way to enjoy it but to dance and sing at the top of your lungs.

Our children like to play outside.  They are going to run, scream, squirt each other with the hose, throw balls and enjoy life to the fulliest.  This is okay, really, it's okay.  You were once a child too and if it bothers you that much then close your doors and windows and go inside because children need to play outside and enjoy the world like you once did when you were a child.


Sincerely,

Greg, Nicki, Brittany & Garrett